


A Very Platonic Valentine

by nayamiedee



Category: MySims
Genre: Friendship/Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:28:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29441178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nayamiedee/pseuds/nayamiedee
Summary: Valentine's Day is coming up. The busy police officer feels like he's the only one without a Valentine, thus being disheartened. Theo tries his best to cheer up Ewan and give him the best Valentine's Day he's ever had... in a platonic way. Totally no homo included.CW: cursing
Relationships: Ewan x Male OC, Minor Olivia x Violet, Minor Ray x Female OC
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	1. Seeing Red

**Author's Note:**

> WOW this is the first fanfic I've ever written and posted!! I'm SUPER excited and SUPER nervous to share this with y'all! I'm so nervous that I'm having trouble coming up with a summary and what to write for this note LOL;;
> 
> This is about the friendship between Ewan and Theo (my OC, who's the essence user of the town called Julemill)!! They're hella gay each other, but they're too oblivious to realize that their feelings are reciprocated. The whole situation is all the more apparent when Valentine's Day is coming up. This is pretty much based on the part of the game where you have to cheer up Ewan haha.
> 
> Ewan/Theo has been my comfort ship for over a year now, ever since I went back into MySims! They mean so much to me, so it means a whole lot if you read and enjoy all of this!! 🥺💖💖💖
> 
> Also HUGE thanks to Risuu (@nightchoir_art of Instagram/@nightchoir on Twitter) for beta reading this and suggesting changes, especially with my grammar!! 😂 also helping me make an account here haha! They're such a lifesaver I swear uwu<333

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Day is coming up, and the only police officer in town feels like he's the only one without a Valentine. A really annoying couple rubs that in his face, making him even more frustrated.

It was two days before Valentine’s Day. Julemill’s winters were typically freezing and grey; but coincidentally, the week leading up to the event was blessed with beautiful weather. The sun was shining brightly among the beautiful blue skies with little to no clouds in sight. A perfect gentle breeze accompanied the warmth of the sun, making each day perfect to go out, especially with a lover. Not only was the balmy weather gorgeous; with Julemill being filled with beautiful botanical areas and neat shops that weren’t anywhere else, it was a perfect place to spend the 14th in.

As the day of the romantic holiday was approaching closer, more couples roamed around town. They enjoyed the lovely weather in the new area and did various romantic activities together, from having cute picnic dates in the parks to checking out shops and strolling around town as they walked down the pavement, holding shopping bags in one hand and their lover’s hand in another. Love grew in the air quite quickly this week. While couples basked within it contently, it was suffocating the police officer patrolling around the town. Ewan felt like he was in high school again, where he was tortured by inevitable loneliness, catching a couple in every corner. Julemill had been idle over its two-year period of decay, so the holiday hadn’t bothered him as much as before. That is until the small town got busier as more visitors came in.

As much as he tried to ignore the romance around him, he couldn’t help to feel the heavy burden of solitude he’s been bearing his whole life. The burden along with the insecurities it planted within him long ago became much more prominent, as he’s forced to watch over couples in all of their lovey-dovey activities. It was his life long passion and his duty to protect and make sure his hometown was safe and sound, but seeing so much romance made him sick to his stomach. A deeply hidden part of his heart carried a secret longing for a partner to call his own. What prevented him from having one was his determination to put his duty as a police officer first, which meant giving more time and effort to it—leaving him with so little for a lover and even himself.

His mood became worse after a moment he had with this one particular couple. They approached him, lightly swinging their hands together and asking him for directions to a certain shop located in the forest. After Ewan answered with clear and concise instructions, the girlfriend of the couple asked him out of nowhere, “Hey, doesn’t Julemill have only like, one police officer? Are you that police officer?”

Ewan raised a brow at the stupid question.

“Well, I _am_ a police officer. But now that Julemill’s population has grown over the past year, we have more opportunity to find more officers for the department to recru—“

“Wow, you work a lot if you’re the only one, huh?” The woman cut in. “You must be sooo tired. You look pretty tired right _now_ , you poor thing! You should get like at least some sort of break once in a while!” The blonde girl’s sudden interruption irked the officer who was already feeling grumpy. “Like, Valentine’s day’s coming up! You definitely need a day off with your girlfriend.”

Ewan furrowed his brows after a moment of awkward silence.

“I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Ohh… How sad. It must be super hard to be busy and lonely at the same time. I can’t even imagine.” For a moment, an expression of pity that Ewan was a little skeptical of formed on the woman’s face. He was slightly startled but not surprised at how she went right back to her repulsively cheery tone way too quickly. Her slyly smug smile and words provoked Ewan to frown in annoyance, and for his infuriation to surface even more. She proceeded to flaunt while swinging her boyfriend’s hand more. “Love is _sooo_ nice! Like, I can’t be anymore happier when I’m with my boyfriend!~ Maybe if you’ll find a girlfriend, you’ll be less tired and grumpy!”

Ewan felt his face flush with accumulating anger at the discourtesy she blatantly rubbed in his face. He was about to chide her for this rudeness, but her boyfriend with too many buckles and pockets in his dark outfit finally butted in to say something, squeezing the palm of his girlfriend’s hand to catch her attention.

“Bella, I think we should be heading for the forest now. Let’s leave this guy alone,” Ray told his girlfriend apparently named Bella. As he did, his red eyes locked onto the officer with spite. He didn’t like seeing his girl talk to other men; though, Ewan wasn’t even doing anything but tiredly tolerating this edgelord’s nuisance of a girlfriend.

“Oh, right,” Bella answered and raised her fist with tons of shopping bags in the air, cheering. “Wahoo, to the forest! I heard there’s really really pretty parks and gardens there. I’m so excited to take so many cute pictures with you!~” She nuzzled the side of her pale face against her boyfriend’s while squealing in overdramatic excitement. To end their unpleasant and unnecessary conversation, the blonde girl goes to comment, as if it would make Ewan feel any better, “Good luck finding a girl!”

To that, Ewan didn’t respond with anything but a very offended and shocked look frozen on his face, his intense brown eyes coldly fixated on the snobbish couple walking away. Throughout the day, his crabby mood was worsening, and he was just about to explode at how impertinent and ill-mannered this woman was. Just as he was about to, his ringing phone stopped him. He took it out of his bag and checked who it was:

Theo. 

The tired police officer took a deep breath before picking up his friend’s call. “Hello?”

“Yo, are you free to hang out today?”

“I can take a few minutes off,” Ewan replied rather quickly, his hand rubbing his temples. He needed a break and was already walking towards the forest as he asked Theo, “Can we meet at the garden? I don’t think I can take being in the main square any longer.”

Theo grew worried hearing how stressed out he sounded. “Uh oh. Something happen?” He was at his door by then, locking it before he left his house. He brought with him a blue blanket bundled up in his arm and a plastic bag holding a container of two pieces of a cake made by Juniper, his essence user apprentice’s twin who loved baking (though she could’ve just waited to bake it on the week of Theo’s birthday which was exactly the week after, it was probably an excuse for her to bake more). It was 3 in the afternoon, and he just ate some very late lunch - it would be lunner by now - after his nonstop hours of working on commissions. Sometimes he forgot to eat as he worked.

“I’ll tell you everything when I get there,” Ewan’s voice stressfully sighed from the other end of the line.

“Alright, see you then. I’m excited to hear about the BS you had to put up with today.” Theo said as he started to make his way to the garden.

Ewan silently chuckled without a smile and hung up after also saying his short goodbye. Knowing that he can vent off to his friend already made him feel better and more eager to get to the garden—but he stopped himself for a moment and cautiously slowed his pace, realizing that the couple he was just talking to wasn’t too far away from him. Merely seeing them already irritated him, so he tried to pretend they weren’t there.

The couple did quite the opposite. Bella’s dark violet eyes wandered around the forest and somehow caught the police officer walking behind them. The same smug smirk pulled up again on her face.

“Looks like we have a stalker, bae!” She announced loud enough for Ewan to hear.

Ewan stopped his pace and threw his hands in the air at the mockery and humiliation that she decided to invoke again. “Excuse me?” He put his hands up his hips. The anger towards the snob was burning in his eyes.

Bella turned around and jeered, shooting at him her seemingly nice smile once again. “It’s okay, officer. We know where it is—we don’t need your help anymore!”

Ray also turned around and shot the same glare he gave him from their earlier conversion. His hand temporarily let go of his girlfriend’s for him to march towards Ewan. “Trying to creep on us like this? What do you think you’re doing, huh? I swear to god if you—“

“I think I’m going to take a break because of how much of a fucking **_HEADACHE_** you arrogant assholes are!!!” Ewan finally snapped back, stopping the startled boyfriend’s tracks. His roar filled with aggravation accumulating throughout the whole day echoed through the wide area, ceasing all of the chatter and catching everyone’s silent attention.

“Looks like someone’s got anger issues,” Bella’s fleering grin behind her hand whispered in a singsong manner.

Ewan began to feel a heavy weight of judging eyes laying upon himself that was already burdened by indignation. His abashment weighed down his own eyes and simmered him down. Flustered, he made quick steps away from the area and to the garden, now stuck with a new anxiety that ensued within him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter!!<333 I promise the next chapter will be much more gayer lol


	2. The Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ewan vents out to Theo and gets carried away with his frustrations, revealing his true feelings about his idle love life and his job. Theo tries his best to comfort and cheer him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wahoo wahoo here come the dumbass gays hangin' out being dumb and gay together!!! And Theo's finally here!! Also if you want to know more about him, I made him a wiki on the MySims Amino!! 😊 I actually need to update it jkfsdn but here's what I can give for now!! 😅
> 
> https://aminoapps.com/c/mysims/amp/item/theo/V0Eg_vmetvI53Xx41bjnd0xR6DR070Rp343
> 
> Also just to note, I usually write thoughts of characters with quotation marks and italics! :>

Julemill’s forest was filled with lush greenery, beautiful stone and wooden architecture, and cold yet refreshing air that was revitalizing to take in. Ewan had a much easier time recollecting himself when he walked through it even before its development, hence why he liked going there. Being able to retreat to a peaceful and isolated garden to hang out with Theo, his close friend who was always willing to lend him an ear, was even better. That’s where the two boys were right now.

The garden was smaller than the others, but it was also full of life. It used to be packed with overgrown grass and lifeless plants. But when Theo moved to Julemill to take over the place of the previous Essence Master, the little garden was finally tended to and now bustled with a colorful variety of healthy vegetation all shining under the delicate sun. A delicate and soothing aroma of flowers wafted around the lovely sight and helped whoever visited to destress. The most significant thing in the garden was the tall cherry blossom tree that the men sat by. It was the first tree Theo and his beloved mentor planted together. Fortunately, after 16 years, it was never taken down.

As usual, the two sat on the blue blanket Theo brought with him. Theo laid his back against the tree after he finished eating his piece of chocolate cake. He gradually hunched over throughout the conversation as he listened intently to Ewan, whose mouth was too busy ranting off to take a bite of his cake.

“And then you know what she told me before they left? ‘Good luck finding a girl.’ I caught that smug ass look on her face. Can you believe how horribly rude and inconsiderate she was?!” Ewan incessantly fumed. “I help her and her boyfriend, and out of nowhere, she decided to give me this fucking hell of an attitude, even accusing me of stalking them when I was going the same direction as them to get here. That was completely unnecessary. They obviously just wanted to piss me off more. The damn nerve and audacity of some people!!” His voice infused with abhorrence gushed out the white-hot exasperation that unsteadily piled up inside him this whole week.

“That was uncalled-for,” Theo winced.

“They didn’t even thank me for my help. That girl just kept flaunting the fact that I don’t have a girlfriend. Such insolence. That’s no way to treat someone after they help you!!” Ewan's knuckles whitened as he firmly grasped the rim of his hat in anger. “It’s always been like this since high school. People liked to pick on me for something I can’t help. Like, _duh_ , I do want to be with someone—I’ve just been constantly working my ass off at school and work. Now I have this whole town to protect by myself!! Goddamn, I swear I never get a break. Julemill’s a small town, but do you know how tiring it is to watch over everyone everywhere? Waking up at 5 AM and patrolling around town first thing in the morning until 10 at night??” Ewan shook his head, pervaded with a massive storm of negative and overwhelming emotions. “This job can get extremely exhausting. Life is so exhausting. I’m so tired of it… I’m so tired of people. So tired of _EVERYTHING!!!_ ”

The outburst that resonated throughout the area was followed by a heavy silence. The faint rustle of the winds passing through the forest’s trees grew a little louder and stronger as if nature was trying to cool off the hot-headed blonde. His fingernails deeply dug into the palm of his fists through his hat’s fabric; his grip loosened as a wave of mortification and guilt took over him. The rant that started from his vexation towards the rude couple escalated to reveal his concealed frustrations of loneliness and the exhaustion of his job. The words he spat out left a sour aftertaste in his mouth.

With a worried gaze, Theo grew more concerned as he watched him suddenly become silent. Ewan slouched over, his shoulders loosened while the aggravated tension left his body, only to become burdened with another. Just as Theo was about to speak, the policeman let out a heavy sigh and apologized.

“My apologies. I’ve spoken too much. I can’t believe I just… said that. As Julemill’s officer, that was completely disgraceful to say.” Ewan muttered miserably. “I forgot to mention that as much as I tried to hold back my anger, I snapped at the couple when they accused me. They were horribly irritating, but… it was still super inappropriate to have yelled like that.” He was about to put his cap on to hide his eyes that damply reflected the mixture of unpleasant emotions, but the heavy shame he bore prevented him from doing so. He didn’t consider himself worthy to wear the symbol of his duty he felt he tarnished. He placed his hat in front of him and pressed his cold hands to his heated face, ashamed to have exposed his true feelings in front of Theo. In front of himself.

“It’s my sworn duty to protect Julemill, and I end up complaining about it and letting my petty emotions get the best of me. Someone as selfish as me doesn’t deserve to protect this town. I don’t deserve to be with anyone…”

Theo’s doleful eyes were laid on the crestfallen Ewan. He was crushed to witness his dispirited friend placing unnecessary culpability upon himself.

“First of all, those assholes can fuck off. They had no business to shit on you, and I’m going to find them someday to kick their asses.” Theo didn’t mean it literally, as much as he wanted to. He had the huge urge to find the couple and rebuke them for treating Ewan so disrespectfully. “Second of all, we are definitely gonna find more police to recruit. You seriously need more time off,” he stated adamantly. “Don’t ever say that you’re not worthy to protect Julemill. Overdoing the things we love can exhaust us so much, and dealing with more stresses in life just makes it even worse. It ruins our passion for them. It… kinda ruins everything for us.” Theo shook his head. Being reminded of his own past troubles where his passions were beaten down by outside problems he couldn’t control, he empathized with Ewan. “You’re only human, and you gotta have time for yourself to enjoy and rest up, too. You’re so concerned about the well-being of others, but you also have to be concerned about your own. How are you going to take care of people if you don’t take care of yourself?”

Ewan grunted. The truth of Theo’s statement twisted his stomach.

Theo pushed himself off of the tree and sat up, scratching the back of his head. “God, if I had to work much as you do, I’d go insane. I wouldn't be able to watch over the town for a day. I’m surprised to see someone pulling it all off so well. You have the patience of a saint… You’ve poured out all of your heart and energy into your job nonstop. It’s astounding.” He started counting Ewan’s altruistic endeavors on his fingers.

“You’re always at work first thing in the morning, even if you’re sick. You could’ve just stayed in and let another cop from another town take over for the day, but you don’t ‘cause you’re extremely passionate about your duty. You always go to great lengths to help out anyone in need. You’re always concerned about everyone’s safety and well-being. Like, you’re always putting everyone else before yourself…—or, wait, is it after yourself? _Before, after…_ ” Theo paused his pep talk and mumbled, having a second of genuine confusion. He waved the trivial bewilderment away, continuing with a sheepish smile, “—ah, you know what I mean! What I’m saying is that you’re not selfish. You’re… selfless. So zealous and passionate and loyal… Such an inspiring and strong role model.”

Ewan closed his heavy eyes. He focused on Theo’s words that he thought were too generous. It turned his sickness into those ticklish feelings of butterflies tickling his insides.

“All the other officers abandoned Julemill a long time ago, but you stayed here over all these years and never stopped making sure that everyone and everything is safe—because you genuinely love Julemill and your job.”

Just as Ewan directed his eyes to Theo, he quickly hid them the second they began to dampen even more, now for a different reason. His lips slightly parted, and nothing but a subtle sigh came out. He was at a loss for words. Theo took the silence as an opportunity to say more.

“You’re also not selfish. It’s only natural to wanna have a relationship—’specially since your busy life never gave you the opportunity to have one. And seeing you feel so insecure about yourself and unworthy of love ‘cause of that whole ordeal…” The brunet shook his head. “It just breaks my heart. Because it’s so not true.” He was aware of Ewan’s difficult childhood. Losing his father when he was only 11 years old, he had to grow up so quickly, taking over his dad’s place by starting work as soon as he could since his mother couldn’t support the household by herself. Therefore, he had to constantly juggle between school and work every day without a break—likened to his situation of being the only police officer in town.

“Don’t feel guilty about having those feelings. While you’re the town’s officer, again: you’re also human, and you need to be loved just like everybody else does.” Theo started rubbing Ewan’s back and assured him, “Let's really work on recruiting more officers! Someone as hard working and amazing as you deserves more time for yourself and a partner.” He took the cap and put it on the officer’s head where it rightfully belonged. Watching Ewan’s softened eyes turn towards him eased his own. He shook his head, pleading. “Please, please, _please_ don’t put yourself down like this. It’s not fair. You’ve done so much for the town. More than we can ask for. We can’t ask for a better policeman.”

Ewan was internally trembling from being swamped with profuse compassion. Receiving the validation for the feelings he repressed for so long was vastly relieving. “ _Theo…_ ” His blue sleeve went up to his dark brown eyes, which were cracking dams finally demolished by the heavy tears he tried to hold back.

Theo quietly gasped and became worried that Ewan suddenly burst into tears. He quickly leaned closer and took Ewan into his arms, suddenly apologizing. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to …”

“—What? No, there’s nothing to apologize for,” Ewan smiled roughly through his tears. It was hard to speak when he was crying, so he took a deep breath before continuing. “I should be the one apologizing. I’m ranting my ass off all the time. I’m such a burden. Yet, you always never get tired of listening…” He cleared his throat, his voice still a trembling mess.

Theo smiled in relief to hear. “Aw, don’t even worry about that! You’ll never be a burden to me, and I’ll never get tired of hearing you. Just like you never get tired of hearing me vent out about my own things!" He lightly pulled back but didn't let go of Ewan. An adoring smile ran across his face. "I love to hear everything you talk about, including your rants. And being able to help you out is even better. Seeing you happy… It makes me happy.”

Whenever Ewan felt like complete garbage discerning his flaws and worries, Theo’s tenderhearted words fully embraced him for everything that he was and everything he thought he'd never be. It gave his soul, lost in desolate darkness the light of truth it needed his whole life. They lifted his spirits from the illusions his insecurities and anxieties firmly affixed him to.

All together with the validation of his feelings and reflecting on his actions, recollecting that he was loved dearly by Theo and the rest of his few but close loved ones helped ignite the passion of fire in him that burned out. A sudden whimper came from Ewan who returned Theo’s hug, now sobbing over his shoulder.

“Aww, Ewan,” Theo lovingly purred with a smile, his fondness for him growing bigger every moment. A few silent tears of his own ran down on his face. His embrace grew a little tighter. While it was to comfort Ewan, he also secretly loved being so close to him.

“I—I’m sorry, I’m being so embarrassing today…” Ewan took out a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe his face with.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Theo insisted, rubbing Ewan’s back and wiping his own face with his sleeve. “It’s okay to cry and let everything out. It’s important to.”

Ewan nodded at the reminder he needed to hear. He took a moment to let all his pent-up tears flow out. Theo didn’t let go of him and continued to gently stroke his back. Afterward, Ewan took another moment to gain control of his shaky voice by another slow and deep breath. “Thank you so much for your never-ending support.” He pulled back from his hug and continued in a ginger and slower voice, “Your benevolence… It never fails to clear the fog in my heart. It always helps me see a much brighter light in life.”

Theo also pulled back from the hug and chortled in adoration. “You’re always so poetic and expressive!”

Ewan awkwardly chuckled and blushed at the compliment and Theo’s laughter, somewhat embarrassed. He couldn’t help himself to speak very eloquently sometimes, primarily when his emotions were getting intense.

Theo sighed in relief and patted Ewan’s back. “But of course, dude, I’ll always have your back. It’s always my pleasure!” He shrugged. “Pssh, I’m just only saying what’s true anyway.”

Ewan scratched the side of his jaw. His smile faded into a troubled look. He was still holding onto a different doubt. While he was exposed, he felt comfortable enough to address this other anxiety to Theo. “I hope that I'll actually be able to find someone that would return feelings.” Ewan sat himself up again. “I’m... honestly quite afraid that I might not in the end after all. Considering how I am…” The first thing he heard from Theo was light laughter. He embarrassedly raised a brow at him. “What?”

Theo sat crisscrossed and leaned his left elbow against his leg, and his head leaned on his hand. His mellow amber eyes laid upon the man he was hopelessly head over heels for. “Don’t you even notice all these people making eyes at you on your patrols? I totally notice it whenever I walk with you.”

Ewan was too blind to realize that one of those people was the man right in front of him, making eyes at him right at this very moment. He just thought it was his natural gaze.

He adjusted his cap, feeling flustered. A smirk ran across his blushing face. “I’m _pretty_ sure they were looking at you.” His words and expression made Theo’s heart jump, easily turning him into a warm giggling mess. His giddiness was contagious; Ewan started to feel it himself, simply shown by his smile that became a chuckling grin.

“You’re too sweet, but we’re not talkin’ about me!” Theo playfully and gently punched the side of Ewan’s arm. “I’m just baffled to see that _you_ can’t see how great you are.” He breathed in deep admiration for the beautiful blonde in his eyes. His body subtly leaned a little closer towards him.

“Believe it or not, you’re such a gem… You’re one of the most passionate and kindhearted people I know. So smart and inspiring—like, after everything you’ve been through, you’re still standing here today, stronger than ever. You tackle everything that life throws at you and overcome them no matter how hard they are, never drawing back from all your struggles… And you’re always devoted to helping those in need like a real-life superhero! You’re also so handsome and funny and charming and talented, and...” Another chuckle accompanied by a sigh of awe fell from Theo’s smitten smile. “I can just go on about you forever.” The expressive look on Ewan’s silent face and a blush spread upon his own snapped him out of his cooing. All the more, abashment harshly hit Theo’s face with a darker shade of red. It sat him up, and his hands started frantically waving in the air. “A-ahh, anyone with eyes can see that, honestly!” He nervously laughed, hoping Ewan didn’t read his words in a romantic sense—though, they were patently in that sort of connotation.

Ewan was staring at Theo with wider eyes, frozen on him with astonishment. Every loving word made him melt into a puddle. Both men’s faces shared the same heavy warmth, and their beating hearts shared the same rhythm of a silent love they unknowingly shared.

“I can’t believe you see me that way,” Ewan muttered meekly. “You’re too sweet, Theo. I don’t deserve your kindness…” He was unused to being excessively showered with compliments. It had been a while since Theo had started doing this, but it always struck his heart every time as if it was the first. It meant a whole lot to him coming from the man he admired.

Theo leaned on his other hand this time, trying to get it to cool off his flushed face - which didn’t work since his hands were just as warm. He continued and gave a genial smile to his bashful friend. “You deserve to know how amazing you are. Don’t doubt yourself.”

Theo’s utter benignity fired several arrows to Ewan’s heart with each statement. He grew weaker yet stronger with each shot. “Thank you so much. I’ll try my best to believe in myself.” Ewan pulled up what was the biggest and warmest smile he’s made in a while. Its diffusing warmth comforted Theo. Whenever he saw Ewan heal, he felt a part of himself heal.

A moment of gratitude for nature’s tranquil silence and their friendship landed between the two to enjoy. Ewan spotted the cake sitting next to him and picked it up to continue eating. His chewing slowed down as he drew more attention to the blue skies. He was now able to admire and appreciate much more of how beautiful the weather was. Theo's tender and empowering words also replayed in his head, words that he never thought he’d hear from anyone. He pondered how he could ever fully express his thanks.

Theo’s eyes wandered around the garden before coming to lock onto Ewan. The rare and soft expression on his typically stern face caused every atom of the boy’s heart and mind to flutter. The prolonged deep desire to kiss him grew all the more.

Ewan caught Theo staring and smiled back a little confusedly. “Is there something on my face?”

Theo lightly cocked his head back and scratched his blushing cheek. “ _Oh, nothing but the most handsome face I’ve ever laid my eyes upon,_ ” his heart internally screamed. “Just a little piece of cake,” Theo lied on an impulse to cover up his gay gazing. Ewan lifted his hand to his face, a little shy to hear that he had some cake on his face. “It’s okay, I got it!” The brunet leaned a little closer and pretended to wipe a crumb off of his cheek. The gentle touch of Theo’s hand on Ewan’s face prompted each other’s hearts to throb in unison. Theo went to even lick “the crumb” off of his own thumb. He laughed at how far he went to play with his own lie, all the more when he saw the puzzlement on Ewan’s face grow.

“You sure are giggly today,” Ewan remarked. Theo was always giggly—at least, around him. “Did something happen?”

“I dunno. You happened,” Theo shrugged, making Ewan laugh aloud.

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Ewan shook his head, even if the swarm of shuddering affection took over him after hearing Theo’s response.

“I know it doesn’t.” Just like Theo’s feelings that were battling against each other at this very moment. As his lovestruck soul yearned to divulge his affection, the fear of ruining their friendship from the possibility of unrequited feelings kept holding him back. However, the more that time passed, the more he fell in love with him and the more his yearning grew to the point of becoming a heavy burden. The idea of Ewan being his date for the 14th propelled him even more. Theo fought his apprehensions by being indirect.

“You know… I know someone who likes you.” Theo started with a smirk.

Ewan was taking another bite of his cake and stopped chewing. He immediately directed his eyes to Theo. “You have to be pulling my leg right now,” he claimed after he gulped down his bite. He knew Theo liked to mess with him a lot.

Theo was amused by the skepticism and anticipation in Ewan’s eyes. “Nope. I’m serious!”

Ewan took only a few bites out of his cake and set it down again. The same agitation in Theo’s smile quickly filled his stomach. “Are you going to tell me who, or do I have to guess myself?”

“Won’t guessing be fun?” Theo chuckled. His nervousness and second thoughts provoked him to stall time. “They’re one of your friends, I’ll give you that.”

Ewan placed his hand on his chin and began to deduct, going over his small circle of friends. Each was either already in a relationship or crushing on someone other than him.

He soon ended up with the only friend left: Theo.

Despite all of the hints Theo threw out being painfully obvious, they seemed to go over Ewan’s head. His oblivious heart skipped a beat at the mere thought of his close friend, his _crush_ , liking him back. Wouldn’t Theo confess his feelings by now if he had any anyway? Ewan always thought he would be the type to be the first to confess—but, would he even dare to bring up the possibility in front of him?

Theo described him in a very sweet and endearing manner, but the fact that he’s always sweet and endearing to everyone prevented Ewan from thinking it was more than mere friendliness. It was obvious that Ewan was too blinded and deafened by a premonition of unreciprocated feelings, to see the deep love that lingered in Theo’s eyes whenever he looked at him, as well as to hear it in his voice whenever he talked to him.

“Ewan?” Theo called his name, snapping him out of the anxious rumination.

Ewan’s idle eyes blinked. “Sorry. I was just.. thinking…” He adjusted his hat as a nervous habit. He underwent the same deep urge Theo had to confess; it pushed him to spit out his thoughts. “I’m certain that all of them are in relationships already. All of them, except… you.”

Theo quickly put his hand over his smile and laughed a little too loudly, already exploding into a million bits of unique happiness and consternation to see that Ewan finally connected the dots. “Are you telling me that I like you?”

Ewan’s foreboding of unreturned feelings misconstrued Theo’s positive reaction into something completely different, thinking that he was laughing at him for bringing up such a ridiculous idea. His regrets impelled him to hurriedly object, “No, no, no! _Of course_ I was just kidding!! Do you think I would be serious about such a ridiculous idea? That would be so... weird.”

Ewan’s firm yet uneasy words stabbed Theo in all places. Just when he was about to explode into a million pieces of joy, his heart shattered into a million pieces of humiliation. Its sharp pieces deeply cut his insides.

“No, not at all, of course I was just kidding too!!” Theo replied quickly and waved his hands that wanted to punch himself in his stomach, where it was already hurt by Ewan’s response. “ _Pfft,_ me liking you… what are the chances?—I mean, I like you, but not in a romantic sort of way. God, that would be hella awkward honestly,” he painfully forced out a laugh.

The two were constantly mirroring each other. They longed to confess their feelings; and when they finally do, thousands of violently frustrated thoughts of regret attacked them when they “found out” they didn’t feel the same. Ewan could’ve contradicted Theo’s statement, saying he couldn’t think of any other friend who would be interested in him; but he was too upset to even bother. The thought of Theo being with someone else sickened him again, even worse than before. Theo felt the same towards the thought of Ewan being with someone else.

A tense awkwardness now emanated in the chilly air. Both wanted to disappear from it—so they did.

“I’d love to keep talking, but it appears to be that my break’s over,” Ewan looked at his watch without reading it. He stood up and dusted himself. “Thanks for the talk again, I highly appreciate it. I’ll see you around.”

“Anytime. See you around,” Theo waved and feigned a smile at him.

Ewan nodded and tipped his hat to him before he took quick steps away from the garden, leaving with the same ill feeling he carried into the garden with him. The gravity of anguish pulled down Theo’s thin smile as soon as his friend was gone from his sight. He was about to leave the garden as well and head back to the workshop; but he realized that meant following Ewan, who he wanted to avoid at the moment. He stalled time by slowly cleaning up the area, putting Ewan’s leftovers in the bag and wrapping up the blanket. He stalled even more by pretending to tend to the garden he already took care of before the two hung out. He went over to the shed and mindlessly dug through the piles of tools and materials, not knowing what he was looking for. Soon, he was only standing stagnantly as his eyes looked into the darkness of the shed, completely occupied by his toxic thoughts that wouldn't leave him alone.

 _“Stupid fucking dumbass ruining everything,”_ he sharply reviled himself in deep spite. His static self finally made movement as he automatically hit his hurting head with the palm of his shaking hand. _“You always like to make things worse, do you? Why don’t you just shut your mouth forever since only stupid shit just comes out? Why did you even bother bringing up that idea? Do you think he’d ever even come close to liking a dumbass like you? That goes to show how stupid you really are. Just look how uncomfortable you made him. He even looked super uncomfortable when your gay ass kept going off about him. Stupid, stupid,_ ** _STUPID_ **_awkward fucking_ **_IDIOT_** _. He even left so suddenly after you brought up your feelings. You had to ruin his mood when he came to you for help and comfort. He probably doesn’t even want to talk to you anymore, so thanks a fucking lot for ruining that friendship, you big ass dumbfuck. Pathetic excuse for a friend. Embarrassing piece of shit. He’s never going to love you. No one is ever going to love you.”_ The overwhelming anxiety that suddenly plagued his brain drove him to violently beat himself down without stopping. Every sentence was a huge punch to his heart that was already broken. He held onto his excruciatingly twisted stomach that was also receiving the mental blows. He couldn’t help to tear up from the utter agony of it all.

-

Theo wasn’t alone in being harassed by noxious thoughts—they also went after Ewan right after their conversation.

 _“God—nice going, fucking dumbass,”_ his heavy mind started to go off, _“He gave you such a sweet and inspiring talk to cheer you up, and in return, you just had to ruin things by bringing up that outrageous idea when you’re already aware that he doesn’t like you. Now things are so, so damn awkward… He probably doesn’t even want to talk to you anymore. You should’ve kept your big stupid mouth shut.”_

The officer arrived at the main square faster than usual. He looked at the park clock for the time; there were a few minutes of break left. That was okay with him, though. He needed a distraction from the tragic thought of Theo not returning his feelings, but being away from him didn’t help his broken heart full of deep regret and spite against himself. Theo’s compassionate words from the beginning of the conversation and his uneasy reaction at the end of it constantly replayed in his head. He wasn’t surprised, but it hurt as much as if he was, now living with the confirmed fact that his fears were true all along. It brought light tears to his eyes just when he thought he cried everything out.

Seeing the happy couples around town once more didn’t help him either. It wasn’t just a matter of “being alone” again—he simply wished he and Theo could be one of those happy couples. But obviously, that wasn’t ever going to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TYSM FOR READING!!! I had a lot of fun writing this, so I hope you had fun reading it! 🥺💖I'll be writing the next chapter sometime this week!


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